A clear mental picture appears to me when I try to imagine who I want to be: a man in a private office, sitting at his desk, surrounded by books, flying paper sheets, laboratory equipment, and mysterious inventions. I feel like I had this vision since forever, which intrigues me. I wonder where it comes from.
Growing up, I idolized characters displaying a form of eccentric yet great wisdom, whose strength was known, yet hidden. I can trace it back to movie characters like Gandalf from The Lord of the Rings, Merlin from the Arthurian legends, and Dumbledore from the Harry Potter saga.
I was 7 when the first LotR movie was released. The first HP movie came out in 2001 as well. I grew up with stories about Merlin and Brocéliande.
Wise characters advising kings and queens, but sort of crazy. Not mentally deranged, but showing a different perception of reality. Feared yet respected.
The first Iron Man was released in 2008. Tony Stark's lab must have been a huge inspiration as well. Same with Emmett Doc Brown from Back to the Future. Mad scientist surrounded by their own gadgets. Science has a magical aspect to it, which is probably the unconscious bridge I built between Gandalf and the Iron Man. Using the invisible laws of Nature to create something out of your mind is akin to magic.
I think the core idea behind the mental picture I described is a general depiction of a scholar surrounded by his own creations.
Now, I guess my vision could be translated into a maker surrounded by his own tech products. Maybe my sole goal in life is to make more things, and it's during this creation process that I blossom. I guess it's a sign I have to persevere. The key to my happiness is not money or fame or love, it's the act of turning ideas into a reality.